CrossFit at Midlife (aka Embodied Dedication as We Age)

I thought I was done with CrossFit. Maybe I eventually will be, but for now, CrossFit with a bit more self-critique or a bit more corporate-suspicion will do for now. Or perhaps I’m simply a bit more seasoned, with less grief and more realism about what my body needs, what I’m actually looking for. My “embodied dedication at midlife” journey tarries ever onward, given I know how much my whole being thrives within it. After a foolishly distracted deadlift, leaving me with a forced-pause from November 20th til nearly the New Year, my husband has teased me: "You need to be in a coached environment," he said with a wry smile. He might be right (but for heaven's sake, don't tell him that. :)) I find myself three weeks into a new CrossFit ‘box’ rhythm– Centerville CrossFit –supplemented by a community-center gym membership (Kroc Center) and the occasional long-walk at the more local Rec-Center indoor track. The box is about the same-time-drive as my previous one, just high...

[November 12, 2024] So what is this space, if not a CrossFit reflection space? I am finding myself pushed out of specifically CrossFit-affiliated spaces...for now... My entrance into CrossFit six years ago was incredibly unusual, I was reminded recently on a walk with a friend. I entered my first box owned and facilitated by a strong woman, physical-therapy doctor whose space-holding and coaching both invited me into my journey of relinquishing decades of ingested shame AND helped my overly verbal-cognitive self not hurt myself . Five years of affiliation there grounded me in CrossFit and nutrition-re-education methodologies (even including completing the CF Level 1 training), as well as convincing me of the power of community to sustain my new love of heightened activity, athleticism I knew I had but had long lost until 2018. I smile with another friend’s notion of late-onset athletics as a diagnosis. Duly diagnosed. I need intense activity at least 4-5 times a week to be a good hum...

[September 17, 2024] I am pleased with the gifts and challenges in the Consistency Breeds Growth (CBG) nutrition-coaching program, wanting to highlight a variety of things here at summer's end. While there were facets of the offerings I did not take advantage of–Facebook group (as I lurk more than use social media), weekly Zoom meetings for topical information-support (Thursdays were generally the one free evening I had with my beloved)--I received what I had been seeking over the course of the four months: increased food-freedom, renewed awarenesses about choices I was making for the health-fitness of my 55-year-lived body, a plan in which to both be as active as I enjoy and indulge in some moderation alongside my husband and our newfound cruising habit. I know such a four-month-investment would be too costly for many I know here in Ohio, but it was a worthy investment for me . I am more than willing nowadays to invest funds in keeping healthy, close-in to a supportive CrossFit ...

[August 14, 2024] Why am I grieving so deeply for someone I didn’t even know? CrossFit Games athlete Fee Saghafi posted this on her IG page, with Amanda Barnhart commenting her own resonance with the question. They are athletes in the Sport of CrossFit, while I am a clear amateur, if with the same question in my body today. Why am I grieving so deeply for someone I didn’t even know? When I first learned of Lazar Djukic’s death, I remember being stunned. Disbelief. Shock. Sadness. Fear. I was driving home from campus, trying to find the livestream of the Games so I could catch up on all I had missed while at work. I couldn’t find the livestream anywhere. It felt odd. Foreboding. So I went to Instagram to at least see finalists. I learned of Lazar’s death on Instagram. My body’s visceral reaction was hugely out of proportion for learning of an unknown-to-me-except-by-name Serbian athlete’s death by drowning. My skin went clammy. My gut wrenched. I felt nauseous. I cried all the way hom...

[August 2, 2024] I was surprised to awaken early one morning, thinking about my scholarly crowd’s guild-language for spirituality instigated by Coach Daryl’s invitation to me for the community podcast. On a whim, I texted him a potential topic of the spirituality of CrossFit , figuring it might build some bridges between what I do as a ‘spirituality scholar’ and my avid CrossFit passions. The stuff in my own work becomes the most interesting (for me, anyway) in convergence and whimsy, so here we are. The Society for the Study of Christian Spirituality has a definition of spirituality perfectly suited to draw out some of the best of CrossFit methodology and contributions to human fitness, well-being. Who knew? I won’t bore you with all the jargon of it, just some . :) For the SSCS, spirituality names a conscious involvement in integrating all the disparate parts of your life, grounded in your human capacity for transcendence. Some folks will say “God-given gift” to yearn for "Go...

[July 1, 2024] Monday morning, a good week of home-rhythms and routines under my belt, even though I also notice the high-stress energies of the last week too. Feels a good “progress note” kind of day. The CBG nutrition-fueling coaching program has been holding a good space for me to remain conscious amidst some job-stressors both in my own work and that of my beloved. A longstanding bother returned onto the home-screen for him last week, peppering the remaining week days with debriefing and letting go for both of us. I made the mistake of stepping onto the scale after my “days away”, startled at the higher number than I’ve had in a long while. When it was no longer plausible to call it “inflammation” which usually leaves within a week, I easily tanked into my own ingested shame voices about weight and being fat. No matter that I continue to be as active, even moreso, than even a year ago.  But, there have been particularly-triggering stressors in my online-teaching work–a white, ...

[June 6, 2024] This seems to be the phrase of early summer for me, balancing a summer of online teaching with some intentionality in both my CrossFit practice and its underpinning, nutrition/fueling. I feel buoyant, hopeful, curious, which will often land me here on the page. The summer had originally had some reprieve in it–an Alaskan cruise, some time ‘off’, some in-person teaching toward the end of July before jumping back into the doctoral work in mid-August. Alas, this was not to be. The course needed to go online for institutional purposes, which was regrettable. It intruded into the cruise and made the whole summer feel a lot heavier. So, I made some decisions to balance all that out with what I seem to be loving most these days–CrossFit–alongside what I’ve been somewhat frustrated by as well–nutrition, maintaining lean muscle mass, possibly losing some body fat too. I’ve maintained my weight well enough these last 2-3 years AND I was aware of a sneaking dissatisfaction I could ...